It was never going to be me.

In some ways, I hate how things unfolded for me during my time in JROTC. It was an unfair program that was led by highschoolers with egos (including me). How does anyone expect that to go well? But in other ways, it taught me lessons that I would've otherwise never learned.

It's not the most recent nor the biggest failing moment of my life—but a significant failure for sure.  It was 2025, at this point I was at the tail end of my junior year in high school. If you don't know what JROTC is, it stands for "Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps" and it seeks to motivate young people to be better citizens. But essentially it's preparing highschoolers who want to be in the military or have develop better leadership skills... sometimes. 

I poured my heart and soul into this program right from when I was a freshman in 2022. Basically for three years, I had done nothing but JROTC. I was known as the JROTC kid in high school. I would wear my uniform to class even though none of us were required to. I came early to set up events and stayed late to clean up. I drove cadets if they didn't have rides. I fostered initiative. I led basically four out of the eight special teams in the program, I even revived the Drill Team. Every school had a Drill Team except us—and we haven't had one in years—so why not restart one. I wrestled with leadership decisions almost every day. I learned how to manage people, organize events, logistics, plan, prepare, and ultimately execute. I was awarded superior cadet every. single. year. I got cadet of the quarter and cadet of the year in my sophomore year. I even identified and trained today's JROTC key leaders in that battalion. I was aiming for battalion commander or at least battalion XO (Executive Officer).

But I didn't even get a chance to board for the position.

"you're too risky of a leader," my SAI (Senior Army Instructor) said.

"it wouldn't even be fair to you if you boarded," one of the upperclassmen cadets said.


I remember going to track practice later that day. Everyone noticed something was off with me almost immediately (I guess I'm that obvious). The worst part is I couldn't even describe the feeling—I couldn't put to words the rage and anger I felt.

It was FUBAR. But I ran that day. I ran the next day. I continued to show up for the program and my cadets. But something struck me that day and told me it was only the beginning...

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